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Friday, March 22, 2013

assalamualaikum wbt.

this post is dedicated to my boyfriend, or ex. Im not exactly sure where we stand.

B, Imissyou by A LOT!  I know you're busy with your exams. I sort of understand. I want you to succeed. but I also want our relationship to succeed. Im hanging by a thread here. I need you. 

I know I've said this all the times but this time I meant it. I WANT TO CHANGE. and I need to. I'll try, in syaa Allah I'll change. gimme time. I also need your help. 


I dont want our memories to fade away... I miss you. your laugh, your smile, your idiotic reaction to my stupidity, your hugs, your kisses, your 'leteran' *eventhough I sometimes hate it when you berleter*, hmm I miss your EVERYTHING b. | I miss every single thing about you. | this is by far the longest time spent w/out talking to you. I miss calling you before sleep and finally slept while texting. I miss checking my phone for you texts during work and replying it. now, it's just 'checking my phone'. no text from you whatsoever.

tadi awak text, I was over the moon. but as I open the text, it JUST says "congrats". my heart broke into a million pieces. patah seribu hatiku. I ran into the fitting room and cried for like 5 minutes, and then walked out with a fake smile. | faking smiles had been a habit now. so does crying before sleep. I end up crying to sleep and woke up with a panda eyes and swollen face. *sigh* |


itew rindu awak sesangat B. CC pun rindu awak. tiap malam kami nangis. CC nak papa dia balik. :'(

I actually dont know who to react now. I miss you so badly. I dont want to annoy you. but I guess, memang duk annoy pun. hmm Im sorry.

B, iloveyousoveryverymuch. I never thought something like this would happen. I really thought you'd be my last. I really want you to be my last, probably my forever. tapi tu laa, kita mampu plan je, Allah yang tentukan.

Im going insane thinking about you everyday and night. thinking that you will probably wont come back and you'll find someone much much better than me. this scares me to hell B. I dont want this! nauzubillah~ :'(

sepetku, please come back and dont leave me again. I'll change to a better person, in syaa Allah. please :'( Im begging you here B. pleaseeee :'(

*long sigh* that's all I can say for now. Iloveyou SO MUCH, takecare. 

_______________________________________________


satu masa bila aku biaq hang buat selama lamanya, hang akan tarik balik kata kata hang tadi. -Najmi Afif. 18.03.2013

sincerely,
Sabrina Johan 


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trash talked @ 1:29 AM