sangat sangat lapar :((

tadi lepas balik tution tolong daddy masak. daddy masak Baked Macaroni and Tuna. lama kot masak =..= last last pukul 4 something siap. kami makan sikit, then keluaq p bagi kat bank mama and p beli barang. ingat nak p Giant. tapi dah lalu Pacific tu, p laa sat. epi baru lepas hantar adik adik dia p tuition. \did I tell you he's back? :))/ then duk text, aku ajak laa dia mai. time dia sampai tu aku duk dengan Nopi ja. daddy p ambek duit kat bawah. dia sampai ja. cakap hai, then aku halau dia p duk jauh jauh. haha. lepas daddy sampai. sembang sat, baru dia mai balik. dia mai dari belakang, cakap 'hai uncle'. aku cuak kot time tuu. haha. daddy dah agak dah kami plan. bhahaha. dia tanya mai dari mana segalabagai. aku hanya mampu tersenyum. lepas sembang sat, epi lari p mana taktau. dia kata nak terjun bangunan. ahaha. daddy ajak p minum.

dah sampai kedai tu, aku dengan epi minum ja. nopi and daddy makan. \daddy duk kata aku malu nak makan sebab ada epi =..=/ so, anyway... daddy sembang tanya dia study mana segalabagai tu. alaaa, soalan standard laa katakan. then lastly, dia kata nak kawan boleh. jangan buat benda tak senonoh. err dia kata KALAU break, jangan gaduh. banyak jugak laa. aku buat bengap jaa duk gigit straw. then daddy sebut pasai Ayie. dia kata dia duk baik dengan ayie lagi apa tah. aku pun macam 'hmmmmm...'. 

lepas air aku dah habis, aku naik atas p Popular nak beli foam mat untuk bilik baby aku \projek seni/. epi kata dia nak balik dah. then aku ajak dia naik sekali. time nak bayar tu ramai gila orang. dia teman sat ja sebab dia nak kena ambek adik adik dia balik tuition. so, dia balik macam tu ja. pfftt

cerita ni best kot! haha tiap tiap Isnin and Selasa dekat StarWorld (ASTRO channel 711). Daniel is soooo CUTE! OMG teruja -,- Emily/Amanda ni comel jugakk. rambut dia, OMG nak macam niii!

teachers, sometimes you darken up my days -.- I know, Ive darken yours too. Im sorry Im sorry =..=

I love youuuuuu!

rindu depa nii. ni time kenduri Angah nani kat Jeniang harituu. hahaha

okayyy, last year first time tengok American Idol dari autition week sampai habis. and aku support Scotty McCreery nii ja. mama dengan Aunty Nana minat James. aku minat gak, tapi Im more to this guy here. haha. gila bapak suara dia menggoda kot! peeerrrggghhhh, hahaha. anywayy, tadi duk layan youtube. then bukak p laa lagi dia. rupanya lagu dia yang first ni dah ada Official Music Video. haha lepas dia keluar dari AI tu, aku tak follow pun. haha tu taktau :)

Idk, tiba tiba rindu zaman Form 3. 2010! dayyymmmm, that year, we had everything! you named it. seriously happening. sekarang? well, masing masing ada haluan masing masing. tak semua benda kekal kan? :) so, takpa laa. I dont blame anyone pun. kita sama sama nak capai cita cita masing masing kan? what we had was just another memory to be remembered. aku tak kisah laa tak mau contact ka apa, tapi setakat laa duk contact lagi kan? cuma, kadang kadang tuu ingat laa sama naa? okay, aku faham. tak semua ada masa nak hang out macam dulu dah. 

goodnightttt :)

some of our pictures in 2010 :)

ooohh baby, can we go here for our honeymoon? :) we can be Edward and Bella, or Vanila Coklat. Im sure dont wanna be Romeo and Juliet --'

semakin lama semakin weird. the most important, I want our room to be like this!

hai, saya calon SPM 2012 :)

nak habaq, ceq tak p sekolah 3 hari. haha. nanti details. nak habaq tu jaa. 

btw, I love my NA :)

You've been on my mind

I grow fonder every day,

Lose myself in time

Just thinking of your face

God only knows

Why it's taken me so long

To let my doubts go

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before

Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,

I've been on your mind

You hang on every word I say

Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name

Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?

And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before

Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,

I know it ain't easy

Giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy

Giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy

Giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy

Giving up your heart

Walk that mile until the end starts.

bie, I love you so much. eventhough you're not mine and I can no longer call you as 'MY BOYFRIEND', I'll always keep your heart. pleasee, dont take it back, dont leave, STAY! I love you. I cant bear to fake smiles anymore. these may sound cliche but, you're the reason I smile. somehow, texting with you, on call with you, Im happy. I love the way you laugh. it's so cute. your high-powered spec that made me go blind when I wore it. tapi dalam banyak banyak, I love when we sat in the car and it was damn awkward. for me laa. for you, idk laa pulak. I wish I can turn back time. really do. but I dont wanna miss the chance to meet you. tapi takpa laa, benda dah jadi. Allah yang tentukan semua ni kan? :)

Najmi Afif, I miss you. why do I have this feeling that you hate me and you're pretending to love me? pfft. I hope it's just my feeling. about our past, please just keep all those between us. Im scared. I really do. takut our parents tak approve. macam macam laa. tapi I just want people especially your, I mean OUR family to see us for what we are NOW. not for who we were before. let the past stays in the past, can?

and this, kebetulan cheja baru buat. curi dari FB dia :)

Good Morning Peeps! wow, semalam tidoq pukul 3 pagi ni bangun pukul 8. kenapa rasa macam berat gila. sepanjang cuti, malam tadi laa baru nak tidoq lambat pun. haha. esok dah start balik sekolah. takmaunyerrrr... seriously tak ready. okay mamat tu nak exam lusa. meaning aku sekolah, dia exam. pfftt, busy lerr nanti -,- dia cuti start bila tah, tapi dia kata nak balik 28.3 ni. cuti sem 2 bulan. aieeee... -,- takpa, atleast ada cikgu Addmaths. ahaha. \cikgu la sangat. aku tak rasa bila jumpa dia nak belajaq -,-/

newayysss, buat apa ni semua orang? dah makan belum? okay. bodowh betuwl #versiNelly. haha maaf yerr, tak cukup tidur. hm okay, today's plan, nak buat homework cuti seminggu. hahahaha. tapi mama ajak p makan kenduri. aww shiiippy! kalau p kenduri tobat lepas balik tu penat and mengantuk. ni tak suke nii. nak ikut ke tak haa? kalau tak ikut, satgi aku kelaparan. dah laa semalam tak dinner. hm, takpalah tak ikut pun. 

okay, apa aku still buat menaip kat blog ni? bhahaha kbaii

okay, baru lepas habis gayut dengan dia. auummmmm sayang awak Najmi Afif oii. haha

kawan dia bukak lagu What Makes You Beautiful tadi. aku dengan bangganya terjerit Liam! haha OMG!!! then dia marah kawan dia suruh tutup. cis, bertuah -,-

sembang sembang, tengok jam. and tengok masa call tu. dah nak habis dah. bye bye, dia cakap I love you. OMG kuasa dua! haha first time bebeh. terkejut eden. 

anywayy, boo, I love you too :)

assalamualaikum :) #tak jawab dosa -,-

okay, semalam tidoq kat surau pokok sena tu. so, pagi tadi kalut aa balik mai sini. dang hantar p tuition terus. masuk masuk dengan seluar aladin tu, semua tengok. babun tua -,- duukk belaaakaaang sekali. faham jugak lah sir ajaq even duk sorang and belakang =..=

balik tuu, hantaq tasya kat langgar. alang alang nak balik pokok sena sebab aku tertinggal barang. sampai sana, dang semayang pa semua. aku tidoq -,- pukul 3 macam tu gerak balik. p makan kat Teruna Ikan Bakar tu. OMG cup sat nak promote kedai tu. seriously sedap ! ikan ikan bakar dia may looked like burnt gila. \yes memang bakar, tapi ni terbakar sangat -,-/ tapii sedap. and the ikan are quite expensive laa. tapi yang lain okay jerr :) anyway, sambung. makan makan, tapau sikit untuk daddy dengan nopi kat rumah. 

sampai rumah dalam 4 macam tu. duk rest sat, dan online sat. nelly mai, cycle p balik tuition, kelas tutorial. haha ada kami perempuan dua, dengan budak laki yang tidak dikenali dua. haha. kami buat kerja sendiri. pukul 6 macam tu p tanya sir. lepas tanya terus balik. plan nak p rumah alida sebab nak cycle \aku carry/ dengan dia. tapi dia tak reply. so aku ajak nel p cycle taman seberang seberang. pknk laa. p p lepas sampai nak dekat Pacific nuu. haha terreerr dak kami? even aku naik basikal capok ja \mountain bike aku tah macam mana seat boleh tercabut -,-/ dalam duk cycle duk bercerita dan bergelak ketawa. haha seriously banyak gila benda lawak. bhahaha

balik rumah, terus keluar balik p hantar dang kat stesen keretapi. dia nak balik KL. sepatutnya sampai pukul 7.47. tapi selalunya kami hantar mesti delay. so tadi aku daddy and meyan bet laa. aku bet 8.30. daddy bet 8.35 \beza LIMA minit, hamuihh KEYYYQAAAA -,-/ meyan bet antara 8.30-9. tapi dia disqualified. haha. then time duk tunggu tu, ada family of Indians ni patah balik nak p duk kat pondok tuu. sambil lalu dia kata delay, may be arriving by 8.50 or 9. aku dengan daddy tepuk daee dah. haha beza setengah jam. yang meyan tak habis habis, "yes! meyan betul meyan betul!" bodos dalam duk kata dia disqualified. cehh. haha. bila train dah sampai, kami hantar dang naik and waited for the train to jalan first baru kami gerak balik.

sampai rumah, aku tengok tv and online. and still tak makan dinner. AND aku lapar -,- THE END

honestly, I never felt this way before. needed, loved, cared :) dengan family, yes. but other people? this the first. or maybe I just didnt notice of everyone that ever made me feel that way. one thing for sure, none of my ex-es ever did -,- bestfriends, yeah, they do too. but they're too damn embarras to show it. \tak gitu darls?/

anywayyy, he make me feel save okay. and something tells me that he's the one. but still, everything is in Allah's hand. we had a fight misunderstanding last night for the first time since we knew each other. damn right I was crying as hell -,- we talked texted and sort things out. it's kind of a long text -,- lemme just keep it to myself :)

hahaha bukan apa, tapi tergerak nak bukak FB dia yang satu lagii. IDK whether aku yang tak perasan sebelum ni or dia baru letak. letak apa? relationship status. eh no no no, bukan dia dengan aku. tapi dia sendiri =..=

so, aku pun dengan penuh sifat PHD. bukak laa 2nd acc aku which I had deactivated a few days, I mean weeks ago. aku edit edit tuu nii, buat relationship dengan 1st acc aku. hahaha. SWEET DAK KAMI? I mean SJ and SJ 2 ? -,- ahhaha bodobabii, alaahaaiiii -,-

dah laaa, kbaiii.

daddy post kat FB tadi. :( tag habeeh nama anak anak dia -,-

ps: sedih :'(

tuu laaa, dosa balik lambat and tak reply msg aku. kan dah hilang! BHAHAHA \maaf/

dari semalam aku text dia, off. ingatkan marah ka merajuk ka apa -,- tadi lepas balik sekolah pun text dia, call sama. off jugak. at that time duk rasa macam something's wrong dah. tapi tadi dia call cerita phone dia hilang time kat dalam KTM., legaa laa pulak. haha bukan apa, I thought something worst -,- Alhamdullillah tak ada apa pun. ee, buat aku risau for no reason ja mangkuk nii -,-

takpalaa, janji dah text :) I miss you ♥

ps: number plate kereta dia 33 as in 3rd March kami couple. auuuummmmm ! \kebetulan jer punnnn/ 

lama dah tak post pasal abang titew nii. haha. rinduu oo dekat diaa. dia tinggal kat Selayan dah. mana ingat kita kita yang duk Kedah ni. bhahaha \jangan maraa bangg ♥/

abang, bila abang nak balik sini lagi? rindu time lap tuition hari tu abang mai ambek dengan Arep paa. haha. \duk ungkit hat tuu aa sampai laa, heee/

nanti abang nak mai sini, habaq naa. nak buat cupcake lagi untuk abang. adik dah bertambah terreerr dah buat cupcakes nii. siap dengan icing icing lagi. nanti nak buat cupcake muka abang. hahaha \okay tipuu -,-/

dah laa, kbaii :D

tapi tapi TAPI, he's mine only to pang. hahaha. hampa tak boleh! berani p laa try. jangan tanya kenapa lepas tu muka hampa herot 90darjah -,-

okay here goes. #sigh

semalam, ada number tidak dikenali text me. she said "Hai Kak Ipaq, ni Jieha." and at that time I was like "whatheeee?"

me: kak ipaq? Jieha mana?

her: Jieha Badruzzaman. mpa couple dengan Epi kan? Epi abang angkat km.

me: eee mana couple pun.

bla blaa blaa... 

tadi kat sekolah, aku tanya Jieha, kenapa dia kata aku dengan Epi couple. tak silap aku dengar lah, sebab time tu bising. dia kataaaa... budak mana tah p habaq kat dia NA couple dengan SJ. dia pun balik tanya Epi. Epi kata kami couple berapa haribulan tah. -,-

balik rumah time duk menyembang dengan Epi, aku tanya dia ibu dia tau dak kami duk contact. then dia tanya mama aku tau dak. tiba tiba dia tanya "mama nina tau dak kita couple?" yang aku tergamam sensorang -,-

anywayyy, tanya tanya tanya, jawab jawab jawab, sembang sembang sembang....